How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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What did the teacher do? He taught.

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It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

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Q: why did the prisoner drop his soap? A: easy sex

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Why was the man shot in the head twice? He wasn't because he died after the first and it is nearly impossible to survive a gunshot to the head.

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there once was a chicken it was yellow

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A bleeding penguin.

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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How do you make a dick popsickle? ...IDK! I am asking you because you look gay.

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

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Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

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just imagine like a whole mark no imagine like 1000 marks an army of marks ready to conquer

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

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Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

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What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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What happens when you walk around with a kick me sign on your back? you get punched in the face. How are you supposed to know it says kick, you cant see your own back.

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alert('The Game')

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charlie sheen becomes sober.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops