Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

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A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

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What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me Doa Kong Oh, Hi! Come on in.

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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what has 4 legs three eyes and a horn? a:yo mama

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why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

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Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

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What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Bus....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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