roses are brown violets are brown who shit on my garden?

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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Why did the blond get fired from her job at the M&M factory? Because she threw out all the M&M's with W's on them.

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What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

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That moment when the worst part of the movie, is when your pregnant wife pees on the couch.....

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How do you make Barack Obama upset? Stab him.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you were observing it, thus changing its quantum state and making it decide to cross.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

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How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

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How did Justin Bieber die? He didn't. And we all need to stop making fun of that poor boy.

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What would Ronald Reagan say if he was alive today? Nice to meet you my name is Ronald Reagan

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What is your name, sir? My name is not Sir, my name is Jeff.

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What did the bride do on her wedding day? Get married.

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A bar walking into a mans house, then the blonde says stupid words like why did the chicken of the sea cross the road and pigeons go moo moo like a cow.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What's worse than public speaking? Public masterbation. *Spelled it wrong purposly to bypass the filter*

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The Colts this year.

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Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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