how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

what is the most confusing day in the ghetto fathers day

What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

So this guy filled with blood, right? This caused his veins to protrude and him to bleed strongly when he cut his wrists with razors later that night- because of his struggle with depression and substance abuse.

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

Yo momma's so ugly. Most people do not enjoy looking at her

I Like my women like i like my wine, 6 years old and locked in the cellar

What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

i like my coffee like i like my women... Without a penis

An albino and a jew walk in to a bar. They both order the same drink and chat for a few minutes before the albino must get home to his wife. The jew leaves shortly after, tipping the bar tender a generous amount for his superb service.

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

Why did the fungus leave the party? Truffle.

Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

your a vagina says you, your a booby

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

2 + 2 = 4

How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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