Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Both your parents are dead John.

what is white on top and black on the bottom? society... ha ha

I touch my sons dick XoXo Wendy.

how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

yo mama just like a toilet, white and full of crap!

A man walks into a bar not a duck though

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

Who do you call when you see a ghost on the street? GHOSTBUSTERS!!!! no, ghostbusters are not real, you call the police

What happened to the boat that sank? Everyone on it died

What has two legs and two arms? A Human

What is Ron afraid of? Spiders!

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

What is worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

So three ants are in a straight line. The first ant said there's an ant behind me, the second ant said there's an ant behind me, and the third ant said there's an ant behind me. Why is this? The third ant lied.

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

A man was complaining about not getting enough sleep. He was then raped.

Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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