Stop procrastinating.

What's green and has wheels? The farmer's tractor.

I don't know which one is emptier my bank account or my love life

Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? One is a type of small aquatic craft, and the other is a human being who practices Judaism.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

why dont you ever run over a black guy thats on a bike? because you will be sewed and also probably have the shit kicked out of you

What is the worst joke ever? This one.

Did you hear the one about the bus driver? Me neither

Your momma's so dumb she graduated high school with a C average.

What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

A young boy asks his father if there will be cake at the party. The father tells him there won't be and tells him to f*ck off.

Why was the man sad His got raped

Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

Q: why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: because it was dead.

Whats worse than a dog biting you? Cancer.

What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

There were 50 koreans; half of them liked gangnam style but the other half didn't. Why didn't the other half like gangnam style? They were north koreans.

I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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