roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What would have happend if martin Luther king was white? I don't know he wasn't so it's irrelevant

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock. Doors open

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats a Quires favorite type of sport?--- A contact sport

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why are black people so good at basketball? because they understand the fundamentals, work hard at becoming better, and have fun playing the game/

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

thumb_up thumb_down +20

The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A muslim walks out of a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Hi im a joke i eat turtles

thumb_up thumb_down +20

You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops