What did the fat lady order at McDonalds? Nothing because she forgot here wallet at home.

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Q. Why did little suzy fall off her swing? A. She dosen`t have any arms. Knock knock. Whos there? Not Suzy.

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Q:Why did the retarded student get called down to the office? A:Because both his parents died in a car accident.

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

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A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

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how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

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What's black and white and red all over? A panda with red paint splattered on it

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*Brother comes downstairs wet and naked* Mom: Did you enjoy your shower?

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How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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what would your nan do if she was alive right now? scratching the top of the coffin.

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Tim likes girls

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

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can the real slim shady please stand up? no. there is a slim shady in all of us, so we will all stand up.

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The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

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bob said "Hi Joe why the long face" Joe replies "I'm a horse dip sh*t"

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BAr intO a wAlks… sorry I wrote that joke after walking out of a bar.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jeffery Dahmer. Oh, good, you're finally here!

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What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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