Three Men walk into a bar. One with a ax and one with a Shovel. The other one isn't holding anything. *Boom* (\ _ /) (x . x)

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what smells like diarrhea and looks like diarrhea? diarrhea stupid

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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What do Sandusky and micheal Jackson have in common? They are both white.

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why was the blond so easy,because ALL blonds are whores.

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How many gays does it take to change a light bulb? 1, even if hes not happy im sure he would still be able to change it.

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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Q: What do you call a blonde that just bought a new car? A: Carol

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A priest was driving a motorcycle and was doing these amazing crazy stunts. It turns out they were actually filming a movie.

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A pig walks into a bar and says, "Oink."

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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THe Election

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What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? alot of things, worms don't taste that bad.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino. It just isn't relephant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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What did little John get for his birthday? No sort of disease or illness of any kind because he was in perfect health. He also got an Xbox.

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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Q: How do you know if you have had too much to drink? A: When you find a bloody hole where your kidney is.

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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Whats werst than taking candy from a baby. Throwing a baby off a cliff then eating the candy in fronts of its parents

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops