So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

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What is red and has wheels? Grass, I lied about it being red and having wheels.

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Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

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What do you call the branch of Science that separates the organism's race? RACISM

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LOL

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How many are in a baker's dozen? 12 bakers

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The bears will win the Super Bowl

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

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Well, I'm naked so I'm going to go.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder read? Because he is blind

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Q- How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A- You Poke Her Face

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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Why did the cop stop a black guy with a Rolls-Royce? Because he was speeding while on his phone and going through red traffic lights.

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knock knock. Whos there? YELLOW PEOPLE

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What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

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Proof that the Chicken came first than the Egg is all in the good book. It's called, The Dictionary!

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from a Black family reunion.

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How do you make a black guy cry? You kill his family.

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Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

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why do firemen wear red suspenders. I dont know because they go with there hat.

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What did the bus say to the short bus? Heh, you're retarded..

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Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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