What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

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Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Q: What did a rock say to a Another Rock? A: Don't take things for Granite!

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How do you keep kids off your lawn? You molest them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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What did the zombie say to the woman? I like turtles.

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I said no! Its not funny... Maybe a little but stop it, I am having trouble enough finding out which comments are mine as it is.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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what do you do when you forget to do your math homework? kill your teacher

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I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

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Why did Anti-Joke.com close down? It didn't. If your reading this, the site is fully operational and up to date with your system.

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because his weekend was busy!

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

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Why bouriquet fall off the swing? Ask him.

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The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

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Why do black people like chicken? Because it's tasty, nutritious and easy to cook.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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