How do you get a black man to run? Ask him how his day has been, catch up on some memories of your time at school together, then challenge him to a foot race.

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What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

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Now this bible thing, is a real anti joke so get ready to have your faith tested, and overcome it: There was that story where God charged against an army at the top of some mountains, the army is told to have been led with God personally at the front rank right? But they lost because the enemy had horse wagons (you know what I mean) made of steel or iron, (does not matter what it is if you ask yourself really) I mean even if it was Metatron, he would have had uh... Wings or something to even the odds, Maybe God is like Raiden from Mortal Kombat, he needs to become a Mortal in order to enter fights on earth... MORTAL KOMBAAAT! I mean God made humans humans made Sin (gotta say we get the blame for a lot of shit others did, I hate apples and cant even stand the smell of them for once, never ate one)

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How do you make a Hispanic man sad? Answer: steal everything he has until he has nothing

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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so 3 guys are a plane George W. Bush, a mexican, and a chinese man. the plane is going down because of too much weight they haave to throw things out. The mexcan throws out a suitcase full of tacos and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then the chinese throws out a suitcase full of rice and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then George W. Bush pushes the mexican out and says "we have to enough of these in out country."

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In mediavel times :A Jew rapes his mom.... He is promptly taken out of society and thrown into a lions den due to his act of imortality.

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Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

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roses are red violets are blue i done you mom a favor by making you...banana and rice don't worry it'll taste just nice

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Drown it in vinegar.

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What do you call a dog with no legs Nothing it won't come

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Why was young Timmy Crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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lil billy wuz killed cuz of hiz relijuz beliefz

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If Johnny has 4 dollars and Clarissa has 7 dollars, how many dollars do they have all together? 11 dollars Knock knock Who's There? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny and Clarrisa, all together we have 11 dollars.

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what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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Why did the clam not like to share? The deep sea is a competitive environment, where survival of the fittest is prominent.

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What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

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Yo mama so dumb, she studied for a blood test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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