A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

My wife made me a sandwich

What is Hitler's favourite Yu-Gi-Oh card? Blue Eyes, White Dragon.

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

Why did the boy get nothing from Santa? He's Jewish.

what did the cop say to the robber... freeze bitch hope you like prison food and penis

why did the clown fall off the swing because he got shot in the face

"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

willam dafoe

Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A. One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a highly trained professional skilled in the art of litigation.

What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

Jake: Where's Waldo Me: Where? Jake: I don't know

How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

Q) What is the difference between an elephant and a toaster? A) Do you seriously not know the difference between an elephant... and a toaster?

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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