Q: What does a baby and an old man have in common? A: They both pee in public

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What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

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Heskey time.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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What happens when you walk around with a kick me sign on your back? you get punched in the face. How are you supposed to know it says kick, you cant see your own back.

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What made Qtip's so dangerous? Q-tip's music

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Pooring urine into your eyes, is a natural way to cure pink eye. Found this out this morning.

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What did the alphabetical soup spell for little Bobby? U gOt SUzie prEgnant ....... aGaiN

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

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A man walks out of his house and sees a......BIRD!!!

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cancer isn't that good for you. so try not to get it

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what did the carrot say to the rabbit? stop eating me you son of a B*****

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What do you call a tortilla from venezuela? A tortilla.

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what would be the most epic fight ever chuck norris vs superman vs all legendary pokemon vs a giant who would win it me (im superman)

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What's brown and sticky? Some brown pigment mixed with something sticky like glue.

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You know what happens when you assume right? Well, you make an educated guess based on prior knowledge to the circumstance at hand.

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there's a few black guys in a car, who's driving? their dad because they're kids

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Sometimes i like to paint myself red and then curl up into a ball and pretend i'm a tomato.

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One time at band camp.............that's it........

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Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

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someone has been eating my cornflakes,oh well cheerios instead.

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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