What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

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Where is the center of the universe? There is no center of the universe! According to the standard theories of cosmology, the universe started with a "Big Bang" about 14 thousand million years ago and has been expanding ever since. Yet there is no center to the expansion; it is the same everywhere. The Big Bang should not be visualised as an ordinary explosion. The universe is not expanding out from a center into space; rather, the whole universe is expanding and it is doing so equally at all places, as far as we can tell. In 1929 Edwin Hubble announced that he had measured the speed of galaxies at different distances from us, and had discovered that the farther they were, the faster they were receding. This might suggest that we are at the center of the expanding universe, but in fact if the universe is expanding uniformly according to Hubble's law, then it will appear to do so from any vantage point. If we see a galaxy B receding from us at 10,000 km/s, an alien in galaxy B will see our galaxy A receding from it at 10,000 km/s in the opposite direction. Another galaxy C twice as far away in the same direction as B will be seen by us as receding at 20,000 km/s. The alien will see it receding at 10,000 km/s:

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Whats long and hard and women like to suck on them? A popsicle or long lollipop

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Q: What did the monkey say to the parrot? A: I like trains so feed me bananas!

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what do you call a black person with no legs or arms? A poor man that clearly was inflicted very badly.

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- Knock knock - Who's th.....AIDS

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HEY.... HEY YOU..... YEA YOU! IM TALKING TO YOU!!! yolo

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I used to be an adventurer like you, until old age slowly took away my ability to move and go adventuring

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why was the little girl crying? she just watched her whole family get murdered.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Beacause the destination he was trying to reach was across this road Notice how he tried This is because he got hit by a car but know one cares for him

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How do you starve a Somalian? Too late.

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What do you call a red light A:soon to be green

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Why is three afraid of four? Because four ate five.

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Albert, there is a dead, FLY in your hair.

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What did Jean Luc Picard say to Data when he saw a broken Janome Overlocker? Make it Sew

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Who has two thumbs and gets to go home tomorrow? Well, not your son. He's in a persistent vegetative state and we had to amputate both of his arms.

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what did the father say to his son whom had only one arm? hey son.

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What do you call a man with no penis? WOahMan! O_o

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I like to rape children, then kill them, eat them and defecate them into a toilet

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Why do you put babies in the blender feet first? To hear them scream.

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Ps: Its "Cain" again, just for matters of security here, how did he install power wires under the basement? How are you even able to use your computer over there?

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm dying of AIDS so I guess I'm feeling a little sorry for myself"

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Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Why did the frog commute suicide ? Because His mother was a type writer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops