What's worse then getting kicked in the face by Chuck Norris? A: Nothing

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What did the bird say when he was riding the turtle? Weeee...

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What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

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What did the Jew say to the Catholic? Nothing. He is a mute you insensitive moron!

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What did Tiger Woods say when his wife hit him with a golf club? "Why did you hit me with a golf club".

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So a man walks into a bar and wonders why he walked into the building instead of simply just walking through the door. The man then realized that the building was if fact not a local bar, but instead a bowling alley. He was hallucinogenic and was in serious danger as he approached the candy man in the alley.

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to use a female name.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cot Death.

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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What did the homless man get for Christmas? Nothing

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"Tell me a joke" Tom says Your life.

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An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

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How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

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Sugar is sweet. Plums are too. Prison rape isn't funny either.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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What has 4 legs and doesn't move? A child born in Chernobyl.

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What do you get when John pulls your toe off the waterfall and takes three from an caramel? -6 to the power of golf.

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Well that sucks, your dad is dead.

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A jewish man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder, the bartender asks "where'd you get that" the man replied "at a pet shop"

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What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

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Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

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I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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