How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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What do you call a scottish drunk? a taxi

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a chinese man pays the full price

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

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Why did the woman stop jogging? She got mauled by a bear.

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A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

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What do you do when the Cubs win the world series? Turn the xbox off and go to bed.

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What comes after 69? mouthwash

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

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What's a fat chinaman? A guy who somehow got obese on rice. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!

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I wish you were never born. Me too. Then I wouldn't have been raped today.

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Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

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Q: Why did you get raped last week? A: Because at night you touch yourself to pictures of rapists.

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Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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Why was the blonde so dumb? She had a severe case of dyslexia, which made it difficult to study.

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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* two sisters are making yo mam jokes* * mom turns around* mom: Hey yo mama so stupid ... sister one: ummmm.... sister two: sure thats not you?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

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What do you call a shoe with no laces? Stilettos, sandals, flip flops, slippers, etc...

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Did you hear the joke about the vacuum? It sucks.

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What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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