Why did the chicken invent a memory ereaser machine? So he could erease everyone's memory so they would stop making chicken jokes

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69!!! (its funny cause i made a referance to 69)

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

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What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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-Knock knock. ~Use the doorbell. -Ding dong. ~The witch is dead!

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Whats the difference between eating an egg and an abortion? Think about it.

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Why did the weird, creepy old man in the beat up van give ice cream to the little girl? Because his company went bankrupt and as part of a court order, he was thereby forced to give away the remaining contents of his inventory to those who seeked it.

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Two black guys and two asians get pulled over. The cop says i cant let you go unless all of your dicks add up to 15 inches. They added up to exactly 15 inches - The black guys both added up to 7 inches each and the asians added up to 1/2 inch each. When they were driving away both of the asians said thank god we had boners.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? About 144 licks but everyone gets different answers because we all lick lollipops differently.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "It sure is hot in here." The other muffin says "Holy shit a talking muffin

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At 1:00AM, an old man is woken up by a knocking on the door. 'Knock knock' 'Who's there' 'An orange' The man opens the door to find a talking orange on his doorstep. The man remembers he has Schizophrenia and goes back to sleep.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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A: What's worse than two dead babies lying on cement? B: The Holocaust? A: Yeah or something like that

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How many Azheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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Aodhan, Kevin, Taggart and Caoimhin walk into a bar. They have drinks and then leave.

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What do you call an Interlochen Arts Academy Student with no talent? A comparative artist

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

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How can you tell if someone is a Mexican? Ask them politely if they're Mexican

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yo mamma so ugly I think she has cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road!? He was supposed to be dead! You are by far the most incompetent chicken assassin we've ever had. You're fired.

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a man walks into a bar some other people get up and greet him as they are his friends. he then has a great night with his friends. he goes home and goes to sleep. he wakes up with a man next to him

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-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops