Me: did u here the one about the girl got hit by a car? Man: no what happened? Me: She is in the hosspital with slight fractures and a broken wrist, but she will live

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

We are both missing the picture here friend, those bastards chose to fuck up my eye themselves, and while I do not completely trust you, (as far as I know you might still be a faggotqueer trying to mindfuck me), I trust you enough to take my chances. As for my eye, its fucked, I see light with it, and that is pretty much what I am going to keep seeing from it besides it looks like shit, on the bright side I look 20 percent more bad ass with an eye-patch than without, I am physically and mentally scarred, and as far as physically goes, I dig the look. Dont worry, you seem overly concerned about what people here are gonna think, it is ironic how the shitty system here makes it so easy to hide ones identity, you know if people do it right, know nothing about computers myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

The Kidder vs Bratman, not featuring Robbing the gay wonder: "MUHAHAhAha Bratman if you get me ill kill myself!" HOHOHOHO. "Uh okay" "I totally will!" "Go ahead" "I promise!" Bratman kills the Kidder as a favor, and no crime runs around Goodham city ever the end. Moral: Totally original nothing stolen from Joker and the Batman.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's funny? Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what's the difference between two pieces of bacon and a blond girl? The blond girl is a human and it's against the law to eat her.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? Because it didn't have a thumb to ring the bell!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

a chinese man pays the full price

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between a black businessman and a white businessman? Their skin colour.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

thumb_up thumb_down -17

how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

thumb_up thumb_down -17

i hate christians and muslims, until drugs are involved. iduno what dat is, i try it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a scottish drunk? a taxi

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a muslim flying a plane> .....a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the woman stop jogging? She got mauled by a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Dwight Howard

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse than a kid with a big head? Nothing you just look weird like Austin

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you get when you cross an own and a bungee cord? My ass

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A guy finds a lamp in the desert and rubs it 3 times.. No genie appears because there is no such thing as Magic.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Walt disney Walks Into A Bar, The Bartender says "WOAH ITS WALT DISNEY!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops