What do you call two grown Mexican men playing tennis? Two adults showcasing their talent in a friendly game of tennis.

Anne Widdecombe becomes attractive.

copy me and i will kill you

Q) What is the difference between an elephant and a toaster? A) Do you seriously not know the difference between an elephant... and a toaster?

What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

Daisies are green, poppies are white, I have a headache.

What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

how did harry styles get in one diretion god

I will slap myself once for every like this joke gets!

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

What starts with E and ends with lephant? Not giraffe

When is Florida not the sunshine state? At night.

What do you call a paralyzed man on a fishing boat? Robert

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

How did the stuntman die? He was gored by a buffalo on a trip to Yellowstone.

Q: What do Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury have in common? A: Freddie Mercury is dead.

A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

how many licks does it take to get too the tootsie center of a tootsie pop. Well it depends on how you eat it, there is always the option of biting it, so there is no defined answer, as well as ones lick might absorb more of the lollipop then another mans.

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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