What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

What's worse than walking into a lampost? Your seven year old child accidentally finding and watching a sex tape that you made years ago.

a blond readhead and a brunnett were driving to Miami, they saw a sign for next exit Miami, turned off the exit went to the beach did some shopping and all had a great time together.

His face was drawn, but the curtains were real.

derp

LUKE, I am your father... this is your mother, your parents dont love you so we've adopted you

What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Sorry, I'm a poof.

Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

Don't make my new Nazi friend upset, or he'll be Fuhrerious

What do you get when you cross a monkey and a fish? An unlikely premise upon which to base a joke

Q: Whats Long, Black and Smells? A: Sh*t

What did the PC say to the Mac? Nothing you idiot! Computers can't talk.

What is th edifference between jerry sandusky and mike citro sandusky rapes children... ...and joe diragi is gay

How do you make a priest cry? ... You kill his family

Why was the man sad He wasnt i lied

Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

Yo mamas so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest the host said "sorry no Professionals"

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

Where's my tractor?

Who is the fattest mexican on the earth? Not Osama because he's dead...and he wasn't mexican..

What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

I woke up today

why don't you hit a black guy on a bike? because its probably your bike

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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