An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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my goldfish never writes me back when i send him letters

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this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

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I walks over to da shop de oother day and there was this guy and he was like... I bought some petrol. LOoooooooooL

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awkies when u see danni white fingering jacob :0;0;0;0, and jamie fingering himself..............

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A plane crashes in the wilderness on the border of Canada and the U.S. Where do they bury the survivors? I lied. There were none.

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

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Why was the bully in detention? He punched a fellow classmate.

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How does a black guy die? Unknown

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Are you a tree

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A priest, a jew, and a pirate walk into a bar. An exchange of dialogue occurs with the bartender and hilarity ensues.

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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whats wosre than stubbing your toe? being lost on a desert island being raped

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A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

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Why didn't the baby learn to walk? It got hit by a car.

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how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust Whats worse that the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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whats wooden and hard a wooden floor

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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yo mamas so ugly she is often made fun of andridiculed about her appearance.

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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When Gronkowski spikes the ball, 20 children die.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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You

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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