How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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hey, my names mark.

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What did the homless man get for Christmas? Nothing

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand. QUACK!!!

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why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

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Why did Betty fall out of the tree? Because she was dead! ????

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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The NBA and womens sports

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

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HEY YOU! TISSUE!

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Just admit it. one time in ur life u pretended that the floor was lava and the only way to survive was on the couch.

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What's funnier than slapping a girl? Calling the cops on the person who slapped her.

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I used to have a shirt just like yours, except it was green. And it was a bicycle.

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

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what happens when you piss on a dead monkey nothing you just lose the urge to pee O.o

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Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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