What worse than stubbing your toe? Getting raped by a panda.

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whats the difference between a fur rug and a pile of dead babies? i dont lie on a fur rug to pleasure myself

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Your mother is so old, she could easily be considered a senior citizen.

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Nah

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What do you do to a little boy who just called you fat? Throw a rhino at him!

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what do you call a gay guy? kevin

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me and joey are going to watch the football game, at this point you relize you shouldn't hang out with joey and the other guy because it is joey and I not me and joey

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what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

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Whats more fun than swinging a baby around on a clothesline at 200 miles per hour ? Stopping it with a shovel

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What did the black man do when he walked into the bar? He went up the bartender and bought a beer.

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I used to be an adventurer like you but then i grew old and i never took i single injury unlike my brother he took an arrow to the knee or so he says i asked him to show me and he was all defensive like "whoa man i don't need to prove anything." so i think he's lieing

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Your mom is so dumb that she had a below average score on her IQ test.

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Why did the kid want to do his science test? He didnt, who would want to do a science test...

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How do you say a bad word in your language? Like this: "A bad word in your language"

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Roses are gold Violets are blue I am color blind

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A black man is pulled over doing 66 in a 65 zone. He asks the officer what the problem is and the officer says his left tail light is out

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Why did the old man miss the Alzheimer's Day walk? Because he died in his sleep.

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I meant to state that I threatened to kill him unless he refused to state that I broke his knees (and broke his wrists, I forgot to mention that too, such misery... ...Give a real man a chance here, its not every day I have to kill my mother... But you still wont hear me whining about it, asked my wife if she forgave me if I spent the rest of the day smirking, after all my mother "had visions" where my wife was Satan, which is fun, since I was also Satan the day I was born... Because my name is Nero... A NAME SHE GAVE ME! Still, not very dignifying getting the shit beat out that old hag because she was on some blend of angel dust, and still not so fun killing her by biting half her neck off... ...Literally not so fun, kinda fun? You bet, tasted disgusting, watching her choke to death was...Lets just say I have shared enough joy with you for one day.

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Holy Fish Sticks Batman! Batman and Robin were at a church and saw a priest eating fish sticks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

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A blonde was told to go to the into the nearby swimming pool and sniff the Scratch-and-Sniff sticker on the bottom. Once at the bottom, she quickly realized that it was not a good idea and swam back to the surface.

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A movie trilogy about an alphabet book. A ten minute long movie about a complete lifespan. A 600 pages long book on how to stop procrastination. A two page book about the top 600 award winning pictures. CALL NOW FOR A TELESCOPE INCLUDED! (So you can see the stars and fuck the book altogether) Juggernaut: IM THE JUGGERNAUTBITCH! Me: Hi, mind if I just call you bitch for short? Your life sucks sometimes because Karma is a bitch... ...My bitch ;)

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? According to the theory of evolution, chickens are descendent's of dinosaurs, meaning that a dinosaur laid an egg, eventually creating a chicken thus meaning that the egg came first.

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david weres the slug gone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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