Your momma is so fat that when she fell over, she couldn't get back up without help, and she probably got several bruises.

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What did the doctor say to the man on the nice day? You have cancer. How nice the day was is irrelevant

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What's old and baggy? An old bag.

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Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally had a burning hatred for dairy products.

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no jokes left :( ill try to make some more the ones with nude in my comments is mine

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Whats worse than seeing a child with autism? Seeing a child doin' serious damage in a mosh pit

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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I touch my sons dick XoXo Wendy.

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Gingers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't. Before it could cross, it was killed and then consumed by an average American

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There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

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all jokes aside...

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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A Christian walks in into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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- What is worse than a baby in a trash bin ? - A baby in five trash bins.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

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Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

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Nero, sure you are okay?

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, And one of them has a penis.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

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A man makes a sandwich.

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops