There are three muffins sitting in an oven. The first one says nothing. The second one also says nothing. They're just muffins and muffins can't talk.

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Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

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what has genitial warts? me

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

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Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

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What's as red as a Lobster? A Lobster

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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200,000 people are homeless! ...this year in america!

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

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Ask Me If I'm A Piece of Bread Are You a Piec--- Nope

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A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

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What do gay kittens eat? Cat food. Friskies and Fancy Feast are both popular brands.

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So your a murder, and you show everyone your knife. what do you do, easy just chat with them.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

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A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

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Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

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Why didn't the man get to see his family on Christmas? He was blind.

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Q: What did Albert Einstein say to Adolf Hitler? A: They never talked. And if Albert Einstein did say something to Adolf Hitler, he would have died first.

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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