wommmoaooammaaa

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Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

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How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I would like a pint of..........beer." The bar tender asked "why the long pause?" The bear replies "I think I just had a stroke."

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Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

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Dani Barton is not that! She is a great girl with a strong heart and feelings. The statement below is a joke, hence why it was published on AntiJokes. This is NOT a joke however.

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The three of them discuss theology for quite some time and then begin approach various patrons with invites to attend their respective Sunday services.

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

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Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"? Very similar to the definition of a shame, but moreso.

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Why don't you see elephants find in trees? Because most trees can't hold an elephants weight.

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Your momma's eyesight is so weak she needs a pair of glasses to see properly

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Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

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Why was the Chinese Man mistaken for the other Chinese Man? They were twins.

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A girl asked for lip balm. She put some on and her lips exploded.

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Other Guy: What are you looking at? Me: You.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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