what goes ha ha ha ..plop? We are all going to die.

Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

Person 1: today my doctor said I'm dyslexic Person 2: oh yeah? Are you ahdd too?

Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

How is an orange like an airplane? They both have wings except an orange doesn't have wings

Where do you send a Jew with ADD? A concentration camp.

whats thin, long and hard? A: a pen is

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

Why did Zayne have no friends? Because he is retarded.

My penis is so big that some women find it uncomfortable.

What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

Why did the frog commute suicide ? Because His mother was a type writer

What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

What's creepy about a loving couple having sex? I made them do it.

Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? A: They are both purple, except for the rabbit!

A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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