What's long, hard, and full of seamen? An ejaculating penis.

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Your mom was so fat, She was overweight.

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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what did the fart say to the butt........bye

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knock knock who's there auntie auntie who? anti-joke

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Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

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If you come to Anti-Joke.com to look at the Newest jokes please leave a comment. Thank you!

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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A:Who am i "RRRRRR' B:A pirate A:No im fetty wap

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What is yellow and Bear Grills has drunk on National Television. ...Lemonade.

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What's the difference between 15 dead babies and a cadilac? I don't have a cadilac.

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How did the baby cross the ocean? It was stapled to a whale.

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What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

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"I see!" said the blind man, as he picked up a saw and hammer.

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What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

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So a man walks into a bar carrying a giant clock. One of his friends asks, "Hey, whats up with the clock?" His friend then responds, "A goddamned genie gave it to me, i can't take it anymore. Here take his lamp." The man decided to rub the lamp and thinks to himself, "Gee, I'm gonna wish for 1 million dollars." The genie comes out and asks the man, "What wish could i grant you today?" The man says, "I wish i could have 1 million dollars!!" The genie replies, "As you please." All of a sudden, a studded dog collar appears. Then another, and another. Soon there were 1 million dog collars in the bar. The man yells, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! I DIDNT WISH FOR 1 MILLION COLLARS!!!" His friend then replies, "I didn't wish for a giant clock either...."

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There are 5 men in a desert a black man a white man a gay a lesbian and a white woman they have no food or water and haven't had any in 3 weeks civilization is 1 mile away how many people live and which ones They all die you can only live 3 days without water.

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Where did Susie go when her town was bombed? Everywhere.

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How do you stop a bus ? Put 3 small children in front of it Whats sad about 3 children who died in a bus crash ? They were my kids. How do you know if you're blind ? You run in to a wall

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Why did the boy cry? Because his mother died of a heart attack.

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Slam! Slam! Slam! I'm a woodpecker. Slam! Slam! Slam! Except with dirt.

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln tell a lie? Because he's dead.

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Random question: Whats black and white, green, and black and white? Well thought out correct answer: 2 zebras fighting over a pickle

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. HAHAHAHA I have control of you I don't enjoy that picture.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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