What's the difference between a banana and a monkey? They're both yellow, except the monkey

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Q. What did the pedophile get when he went to jail? A. Exactly what he wanted.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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What is your view on school violence? I'm all for it.

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why did the asian kid do well on his math test because he studied

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What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

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what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck on the way.

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Why can't black people be astronauts? Institutionalized racism.

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Why did princess diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt

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When did Osama Bin Laden die? Nobody gives a @!?$

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One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

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A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

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what is the most confusing day in the ghetto fathers day

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justin bieber is a good singer april fools haha you thought hell had frozen over

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Two pretzels were walking down the street when one got assaulted...

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Kindly ask him to come down.

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What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

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Whats small yellow and cant swim? A short bus full of autistic children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops