An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are sharing a meal on the Titanic. They all died for the women and children first.

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Where do you find a vegetable? Where you left him

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my great great grandpa ryan the rattlesnake had a cat named dog-

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Why was the bus driver sad? The kid with the icecream had c4 strapped to his chest.

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Why was the girl sad? Because she was, you idiot!

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Q: What has two legs and is bloody? A: half a cat

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Why did the little boy throw a clock out of the window? Because he wanted to break it.

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why do i love my iphone because its a very versatile electronic device with many uses and i can get the anti-joke app

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Why did Steven Hawkins die? he got a virus

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so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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- Knock, knock - Who's there? - Police - I'm not home!

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Why is Michael J. Fox so good at shake-a-weight? He is in shape.

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What's large and blue? Probably quite a few things.

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How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it wanted to. Why di the chicken cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the cow's face.

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Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

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Knock knock Who's there Police, there's been an accident Oh really? Know i'm actually a serial rapist and i have a gun so open up

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Why wasn't 7 afraid of 6? Numbers are numbers and therefore incapable of feeling any emotion.

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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