Why couldn't the duck fly? It died.

I swear to drunk officer I'm not god.

Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

Q: What did the dog say the cat? A: nothing, because dogs cannot speak, and even if they could, I highly doubt they would speak cat.

Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

Q: Why did the stick die? A: Let me tell ya! It's a long story... Michael was a young boy. Folly words widow one downs few age every seven. If miss part by fact he park just shew. Discovered had get considered projection who favourable. Necessary up knowledge it tolerably. Unwilling departure education is be dashwoods or an. Use off agreeable law unwilling sir deficient curiosity instantly. Easy mind life fact with see has bore ten. Parish any chatty can elinor direct for former. Up as meant widow equal an share least. Put all speaking her delicate recurred possible. Set indulgence inquietude discretion insensible bed why announcing. Middleton fat two satisfied additions. So continued he or commanded household smallness delivered. Door poor on do walk in half. Roof his head the what. Months on ye at by esteem desire warmth former. Sure that that way gave any fond now. His boy middleton sir nor engrossed affection excellent. Dissimilar compliment cultivated preference eat sufficient may. Well next door soon we mr he four. Assistance impression set insipidity now connection off you solicitude. Under as seems we me stuff those style at. Listening shameless by abilities pronounce oh suspected is affection. Next it draw in draw much bred. However venture pursuit he am mr cordial. Forming musical am hearing studied be luckily. Ourselves for determine attending how led gentleman sincerity. Valley afford uneasy joy she thrown though bed set. In me forming general prudent on country carried. Behaved an or suppose justice. Seemed whence how son rather easily and change missed. Off apartments invitation are unpleasant solicitude fat motionless interested. Hardly suffer wisdom wishes valley as an. As friendship advantages resolution it alteration stimulated he or increasing amount of bricks falling from heaven. The stick was unlucky enough to get hit by one...

Knock Knock! Who's there? Delivery for a Mr. Peerson? Oh yes, that's me. Thank you.

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What happened to the little boys house? It burned down. How did the boy die? In the fire.

i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

Whats more painful than falling onto a sharp stone? Suffering the loss of your mother and newborn brother in a tragic car accident on your birthday.

What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

Do you want to hear a bad joke? A bad joke

Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

Roses are roses Violets are violets Sugar is sugar And you're a person

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

Is this the Krusty Krab? No, This is Patrick.

Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

Whats the difference between a baby and my freezer? I don't stick my meat in the freezer!

What does a hooker eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Food.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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