What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

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go up to some one and say "i told you it would happen" with a straight face and walk away. it should cause a LOT of confusion.

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Why was the man eaten by a tiger? Because tigers are carnivores, but why are they carnivores? Because they eat meat.

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A horse enter a bar, and the barman says: "why the long face?" The horse has cancer

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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why did the girl cry while watching starwars? She was being raped

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

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In Soviet Russia, millions die under an oppressive and uncaring regime that uses communism to justify its inhumane policies.

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Why could the kid not finish his homework? Because it flew out the window on the way to his parents funeral

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Why are black people so tall? Jesus was also black and therefore gives black people some favorable traits.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because it was going to the destination he wanted to go to.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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What did john say to bob Hey bob

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Today, my friend threw a lemon at me very hard and hit me in the testicles. FML

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FUCK THE JEWS

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What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

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bronson watt walks into a bar.

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What crawls on the ground and shoots arrows? Legless Legolas.

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if life gives you the back.. TOUCH HER ASS

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A sober Irish individual.

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You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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