Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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A guy jumps off a cliff and does a reasonable thing, scream to his death.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a crap?

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Tom: So I heard a pretty good Anti-Joke the other day. Jim: Oh, I love those!! What was it? Tom: [says nothing]

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

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justin littleton being sucessful

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Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

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How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

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an autistic child eats its family's dogs poop and dies

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Why did the road cross the chicken? The 2 nouns in the sentence has been switched.

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Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

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EGGPLANT

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how did the ant die? i stepped on it

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Knock Knock. Who's There? A Banana. The middle aged man opened the door, prepared to distribute candy to the trick or treaters.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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Why was timmy no longer being bullied at school? The rope said it all! Bitch Died HA

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There is big difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse And helping your uncle jack off a horse

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How Do You Fart Eat Beans

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What did the Icelandic man say to the Norwegian man? Vishtok yerder poten hash vil narsh varden.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops