When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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why did the black man die? the man bled out, and doctors did everything they could.

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A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

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What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

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How many jewish people can you fit in a Volkswagen? depending on the class of car but a mid range SUV can seat up to seven.

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You've been in robotics too long if you start talking to your tools. You've been in there way too long if they start talking back!

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A priest, a paedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. And that's just the first guy

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Why was the black man escorted from the bar? Because the bartender was racist.

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Q: What do the Gynecologist and the pizza delivery man have in common? A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it

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Q: Whats black and white and red all over? A: I am unsure for I am color blind.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Santa isn't real.

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9/11 jokes are just plane wrong

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two men walk into a bar. they get a concussion.

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A blind man jumped out of the way as a car ran through the red light at a one way street.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I´ll give anything to be screw by you.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was hungry. Thats why.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet his friend the horse at a bar

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Why did the black man get pulled over by a cop? He was driving 12 miles over the speed limit.

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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Why did the parents order the 16 year old daughter to move out of Virginia? Because she lost her virginity

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There was a 4-car accident in Mexico today. 87 people died.

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Why did the chicken get taken into the kitchen? If u dont get this you need to go b ack to school

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Her father beat her

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What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops