how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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What did the sniper say when a newsreporter asked what he felt when he shot a terrorist? The sniper replied: Recoil.

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Q:what word starts with "p" and ends with "orn"? A: popcorn

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I have a great knock knock joke. You start. Go.

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Did you hear about the Englishman who ran all the way to Loch Ness? Oh, that's a shame, because I didn't either.

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whats better than holocaust...911 cardiac?

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How much dub could a dubstep dub if a dubstep could step dub?

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What do Tiger Woods and Charlie Sheen have in common? They are both celebrities.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set a firework off on her face.

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What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

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What did the goat say to the zebra? Nothing. Goats can't speak

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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why did i come to this site i was doing a school easy about the anti-apartheid movement

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Today is March 22.

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a man walks into a house. he gets shot in the leg and is brought to jail because he was a burglar and was trying to steal the family's tv.

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Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

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What's better then a bad anti joke? A Good anti joke.

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Cool I just got a free Minecraft gift code at http://freeminecraftgiftcode.net

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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