How do you put a baby in a blender? Feet first, so you can see its expression. How do you get a baby out of a blender? With chips.

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Q: What's full of different butts and smells bad? A: An ashtray.

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Cause its dead!

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What do you call a black man who has been killed? A dead person.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter? None of them. He can't read.

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Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Because he had just come back from fighting in the Iraq war and she was extremely happy to see that he's alright

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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Why can't Johnny ride a bike? Because Johnny is a potato.

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Why? Why Not?

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

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a retard walks into a bar a bruise appeared on his head

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What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

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Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

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Hey, Have you Seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he!

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Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

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knock knock who's their panda panda who shut up I never said yo name and don't call me black

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What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson. I spelled "red" wrong.

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roses are red leather is black when god made you he was smoking crack

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Why did the Mexican go to Taco Bell? Because he thought it was a real restaurant.

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I know there are, its not the illuminati, its not reptilian shapeshifters, nor Gods politicians nor the human condition. Its society today as it stands, they did not have the right to attack us, but if we had surpassed them, they would have lost all power, they are the relics of the past, and no matter how many of them stand, they do not grow, and what does not grow, stagnates until it finally dies. Lose hope in people most all you want, but not in the few that truly believe in you for all the good reasons in the world, perhaps we are idealists, or maybe we know that with you by our side, what we see as ideals, is something you can make come true.

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3 like an eel

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Why dont polar bears eat peguins? Because they live on opposite ends of the earth and it would be physically imposible!!

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What did Charlie do when he lost his golden ticket? He killed his grandpa to get it back.

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When Santa got stuck up the chimney he began to shout.. But he didn't shout for long as he soon succumbed to the toxic smoke and died of carbon monoxide poisoning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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