Why did the Arab bomb the US? Because it was his job.

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What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

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What's worse than an hours detention? Gettind raped by a horse anally.

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Q: How many Jews can you fit in a 4-seater car? A: 4

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Q: What's your favorite song? A: Not one in particular. I like all kinds of music.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Violet, Not Blue, Kill yourself.

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Friend: Do you want to go to the bar or see a movie first? Me: Yes.

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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I bet I can say the the whole Greek alphabet faster than any other person in the world. The whole Greek alphabet faster than any other person in the world.

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Wanna here a funny joke... Trevor michael dyess's social life.

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I meant to state that I threatened to kill him unless he refused to state that I broke his knees (and broke his wrists, I forgot to mention that too, such misery... ...Give a real man a chance here, its not every day I have to kill my mother... But you still wont hear me whining about it, asked my wife if she forgave me if I spent the rest of the day smirking, after all my mother "had visions" where my wife was Satan, which is fun, since I was also Satan the day I was born... Because my name is Nero... A NAME SHE GAVE ME! Still, not very dignifying getting the shit beat out that old hag because she was on some blend of angel dust, and still not so fun killing her by biting half her neck off... ...Literally not so fun, kinda fun? You bet, tasted disgusting, watching her choke to death was...Lets just say I have shared enough joy with you for one day.

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A young penguin walks into a bar with tears streaming down his face. "Whats wrong with you?" asks the barman. "I've lost my Dad", says the Penguin. The barman asks, "What's he look like?"

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

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Simon says.. Nothing because he is deaf, so therefor he would have to sign it to you.

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Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms in it, what's worse than that? The holocaust, whats worse than that? Biting into an apple and finding 3 worms in it

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Whats green and smells like ass? My ass. I lied about the green..

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69

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Why wasn't the girl asked to the prom? Because she had cerebral palsy.

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She got kicked in the face by a mule.

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Larchmont Park is the biggest shithole in the european union - Only the jippo part tho, lots of flies live in that part <3

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What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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