Why did the woman spray a black man in the eyes with pepper spray, then promptly run away? Because the woman was a notorious criminal and was currently robbing the man's house, but was caught in the act so she used pepper spray as her last line of defense while she fled from the scene before the man could call the police to detain her and put her in prison for her crimes.

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what did one white man say to the other white man? hello!

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How do you get a woman out of a car? You drive it into a river and her body will float to the top.

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Ok,here's one, my brother can sometimes do it! Ok. Think of a number between 1 and 10 Add ten Add ten Add ten Add five Add five Take away your original number \~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\ _______________________________________ Is your number NOW, 40? Was your original number 6? Click thumbs up if that WAS your answer! ????????

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All the other dinosaurs were laughing and teasing the tyrannosaurus because of his tiny arms. They left and the T.rex was sobbing uncontrollably next to a giant fern. "What's the matter little fellow?" said Jesus. The crying dinosaur looked down and said "I That's the end of my stupid puppet show, cuz I couldn't think of anything a blubbering dinosaur would say to our Lord and saviour.

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Q: What did Nala say to Simba during the stampede? A: Nothing. She was nowhere to be found during that scene.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We are not familiar with the specific circumstances, therefore its difficult to determine exactly why.

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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What did the fish say when it hit the big stone wall? DAM

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What's the worlds most popular burger? The Krabby Patty

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Q:Howd the blind kid find his way home? A:He didnt, he got lost and died of starvation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was no oncoming traffic.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex

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what's a self-driving car 10 years from now? probably just "a car".

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AYE DEAD ON CAOIMHIN

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Neil is a reterd.

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Why couldn't the black kid buy a bike? He had no money.

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What's funnier than shooting a moose? The realization that the moose was Sarah Jessica Parker...

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You are a special guy, and I mean that in a really sweet way, but a retard no. Synapses, tell me more please.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

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How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would run away too if your name was urdaagaa.

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What Do Yu Call 2 gay guys? Tyquan And Dnautica

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops