I violate everyone that do not thumb me green, and vi0late the children, the parents, and the person of those that thumb me red... Its not about the sex, its about the domination... You might even like it...Your kids? Not so much... Well sometimes... Green thumb me, and I will... Meh, then you are awesome... friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Subscribe below, address tracker activated... LETS GO!

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

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why did the Mexican make a burrito for his grandma? it's her favorite food and she has artheritis and its to painful for her to stand long enough to make one herself.

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What's worse than getting bit by a spider? getting bit by two spiders What's worse than getting bit by two spiders? getting raped What's worse than getting raped? a butterfly landing on you

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What do you call a black man that works in a church A priest

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. You wife was killed in an accident.

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby wearing a clown suit.

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Why did Elliot Spitzer cross the road? To go have sex with a hooker.

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Roses are roses Violets are violets Sugar is sugar And you're a person

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Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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What do you say to a man with no legs at a bus stop.. How you getting on.

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the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Why did the little pig squeal? Because he was going through blades at a slaughter house.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He orders a lemonade and leaves promptly

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

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how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

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what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

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How to you scare a paraplegic? Point a gun at him.

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Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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