Why did the man starve to death? He had no food.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ding Dong! Who's the - - - wait - - - I don't have a doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than not having cellphone service? Having sex unwillingly with a stranger then getting pregnant at the age of 13.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How much wood would Chuck Wood have if Chuck Wood could have wood? None, Chuck Wood has E.D.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There were two smokestacks, a little one and a big one. One day, the little one said to the big one, "I'm tired of being the lesser of two smokestacks!"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q:What happened when the black guy walked into the bar? A:He bought a drink and quietly drank it until he was finished.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Today i started to think lucas was homosexuaI.. I am scared

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why was 6 afraid of 7? because he's a pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the pregnant teen get for Christmas? A miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If I had xray vision I'd go to a black jack table and when the dealer dealt everyone there cards I would look at the hot girls boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your momma went to the gym, because she is fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man came home and witnessed his wife having an affair with another man. The husband and wife got into a huge argument and eventually got divorced

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the black man smell really bad? A: becuase he ran out of paper

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There was once a family of termites. There was a Papa termite, a Mama termite, and a baby termite, called Motor. One day they reached a big fat log, and they decided they'd bore through. So first went Papa. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Papa! Next came Mama. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Mama! Last came Motor. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out bored Motor!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what has four wheels and opens using a key? -a trunk on wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why does history repeat itself? Because no one listened to it the first time.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was a small girl found dead in the town park? Because Sallie was a bitch and deserved to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops