I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

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what is the germans word for fat dick what is very fat hairy dick

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Did you hear about the 2 pretzels walking down the street? It's not true, pretzels are not capable of autonomous movement.

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What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

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What's big, brown, and full of crap? A septic tank.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cher. Cher who? Just Cher.

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You're flying above the Kansas Ocean, you lose your brakes and have to paddle all the way to shore. How many dogs can you fit on a carousel? Blue, because Ice Cream is cold.

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thre guys walk into a bar then goes to sit at a booth and the three guys have to go to the bathroom so they ask a waiter to safe they booth while they go to the bathroom 30 min later and they are still not back so the waiter goes by the door and one guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing" and the guy says " blowing bubbles " then goes and sit down " then the second guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing " and the guy says " blowing bubbles" and goes and sits down then the last guy come out and the waiter says " let me guess blowing bubble " the guy says back "no i am bubbles "

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How do you disprove feminism? This is how I disprove feminism. I go up to a feminist and ask her, 'If there are penises, then why are there women?' I have never met a feminist who can say anything in response to my logic.

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Why did the father smash his sons head into the dentist's building? Because he had a locker in his mouth. Also, equestrian.

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the fat boy named biggins ate a twinkie, a man named scruffy came along and shot biggins, now biggins has no nose

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Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

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A Jew walks into Macy's

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A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Can I have a.........................beer?" The bartender asks, "Why the large pause?" The bear responds, "I have a speech impediment"

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Q: What's the difference between a stick in the road and a baby in the road? A: You swerve around the stick

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

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Why did the boy commit scuicide? Because he was mentaly scared due to constant tormenting and teasing from his friends

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men

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koala's try to hit on teddy bears...... desperate even though we know extinction's comin

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A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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how many blondes did it take to fix a nuclear reactor? 1 she was a black japanese rapist

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Henry VIII: I need another wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas Wolsey: All right then. How about my nan? Henry VII: I'm dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~D

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Knock knock Who's there? Impatient Hellen Keller. Impatient Hellen Keller who? ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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