Your mother is so average in weight and in attractiveness.

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Why didn't the millionaire jump off the Golden Gate Bridge? He said "I don't have to commit suicide, that's for poor people" (Wyndellberg)

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How many Spanish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Uno

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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What happens every 5 seconds? An African kid dies.

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In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

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Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

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What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a dog, Meow.

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Why did my bed broke? Becaus i had sex with your mom!

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dyslexics of the world untie!

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Wha....You probably shouldnt read the rest of this because i lie a lot (This joke deserves lots of thumbs and comments!)

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Haikus are good poems, They don't always make sense though, I saw a squirrel.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Yo Mama!

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What did the man say when an pterodactyl flew into the kitchen while he was having breakfast? Huh, that's strange.

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Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

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If you come to Anti-Joke.com to look at the Newest jokes please leave a comment. Thank you!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Q: why couldn't anyone hear hellen keller when she fell off a cliff? A: she was mute.

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Do you know what's funny? 9/11

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What's worse than getting raped by a black guy? Getting raped by a radioactive black guy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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