I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

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Why couldn't the black baby swim? Babies do not posses the muscular capacity nor technique to enable them to properly swim.

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a blonde walks into a drycleaning store to get her clothes and on her way out the empoyee behind her says come again and then the blonde says shut up u nosy bitch its just toothpaste this time!!!

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Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

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a person who will soon die of beeties

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Why was little georgia afraid of the tea cup ? Because she was tripping over the holocaust.

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When black people wore their pants low, white people called it "Saggin" little did they know that "saggin" spelled backwards is "white supremacy" those sneaky white people

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I really did not understand the chapter. Is there anyway I can meet with you at a later time to discuss what I did wrong?

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves.

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What's worse then falling up the stairs? Ketchup

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A man became infected with Staphylococcal Food Poisoning. The doctor said, "You only have 24 hours to live." He died 24 hours later.

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Ethiopian food.

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What was the energizer bunny arrested for? Rape.

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knock, knock... no one replies and it becomes obvious that no one is in the house.

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What do you call it when a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Vicar meet for a drink at the bar? A social gathering.

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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What did the oncologist say to his patient? You have terminal cancer.

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Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

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Dad, why are we Swedish? Because antilopes and the butterfly effect son.

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boner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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