Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was no oncoming traffic.

Why did the tight shirted Asian man spend all his time on his knees? Because when he was 12 he was forced to work in a textile factory where he lost his lower legs.

Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because his work office was there and if he had not crossed, he would have had to get back in his car and parked in the company parking space therefore taking more time and costing a small but significant amount of money

Q. what does a metal slinkey and a retarded person have in common? A. you will smile watching one fall down the steps

What did the fish say when it hit the big stone wall? DAM

yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog Woof.

Why is ms Wolfe mean? Because she is a poop face

A baby walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "what'll ya have, Sport?" The baby's family runs in with a video camera screaming for joy over his first steps.

If a chicken and a taco cross a highway how many cats does it take to milk a turkey? Cactus cause the dog had two black eyes

My son lost his first tooth today...so proud. Took my punch like a champ

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

once upon a time there was a cripple little girls who lived in an orfanage were she got raped then beat .

What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

Knock Knock Who's there??? Your mom

How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

how do you know when you're a man? massive erection.

Why did Jimmy cry? His mom raped him.

yo mamma's so fat you're fat too, because it's genetical

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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