A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Can I have a.........................beer?" The bartender asks, "Why the large pause?" The bear responds, "I have a speech impediment"

What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

Knock, Knock. Who's there? I like Pie. I like Pie who? What do you mean who? Pie isn't a person, it's a thing.

Why can't Johnny ride a bike? Because Johnny is a potato.

Im taking a shit right now.

Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

I like playing in the balls. I like balls.

What's worse than hell? I would say the Holocaust, but they're both the same for the Jews.

What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing. Stubbing your toe hurts like hell.

why did billy fall down? Because he is mentaly retarted and was just plain stupid.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

What ended in the year 1970? 1969

Why did the man get frustrated searching through a box of forks? He was looking for a spoon.

Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

Q: yugdyijgdripgdghd A: sorry I'm retarted. I don't know wtf I'm doin

Christopher Walken steps into a bar.

An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a gin and tonic. The bartender gives him a sprite and charges him $12.

Latvian guy said to the other latvian guy: ''Why did the chicken cross the road?'' The other latvian guy responded: ''In truth, i do not know. I have not seen chicken in 10 years. The last time was before the red army plundered my village. I can still hear all the screams from the women being raped. But, back to question. Where is this chicken you speak of? I have not eaten in days and my wife and children are close to starvation aswell''

What super hero did they choose to be on the Blue Jays' team? Batman!

What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

What did the falling bridge say to the other bridge? Well bridges can't talk but if it could it, then it would say AHH! I am falling

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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