A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!! Everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!!

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

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What happened to the deaf, dumb, and blind kid? I don't know. Niether does he.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

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Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

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What's black and is as fast as a car? A black car.

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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A black man, a jewish man and a white man walk into a bar. The black man shoots the bartender, the white man takes the money and the jewish man holds the customers hostage.

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has an abusive farmer and needs to get away before it gets any worse.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Because She had no arms. Why did suzie fall off again? Becauze Jimmy was trying to snipe her in the head the first time

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Why was maddison sad Becasue he was born with a fucking gay name

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Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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Why did Johnny lose the race he got jawed by a pack of chimpanzees

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What's the difference between a woman and the Universe ? One is full of mysteries mankind may never understand, the other is, well, the Universe.

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trumpy trumpy trump

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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Knock Knock ************************** No-one's home

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How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

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What did the onion say to the the the other other onion Ima cut you fool and make yall cry

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What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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Whats worse being raped by jack the ripper or being fingered by captain hook

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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