- Anti Joke

Why was the 3 year old high He was flying

No this is Patrick, I'm not a krusty krab

Why did the chicken cross the road? The parking lot was across the street from KFC.

Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

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A woman walks into a bar. Guys aren't the only ones walking into bars.

What did the falling bridge say to the other bridge? Well bridges can't talk but if it could it, then it would say AHH! I am falling

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a dinosaur? You can't. Dinosaurs are extinct.

Why doesn't Rosa Parks eat bacon? Because she's dead.

What do an asian, a black man, and a Mexican all have in common? They all belong minorites that at one time have been outcast by society

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A fat guy. - Louis

What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

Did you hear about the 2 pretzels walking down the street? It's not true, pretzels are not capable of autonomous movement.

What's the difference between a duck? both of it's legs are the same.

YO FACE

So a 12 year old suicide bomber walks in to a military base and kills 31 soldiers. It happened. Look it up.

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

What's black and red all over? Half a cat

what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

Why did the guy get hit by a bus? He walked out into traffic.

What starts with F and ends in U C K? firetruck What starts with P and ends in O R N? popcorn What only costs 5 cents on weekends? your mom

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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