What did the elephant say to the clown? Swell, morning isn't it?

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a young cow was sitting on a bench until her husband shot her after that he said to the farmer 'i will get the milk than you cut the udders and then maranade them

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why did dominic buy a new speaker on holiday because his parents died and his was at home

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A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

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Here's another:

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Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

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QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

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if your paddling a backwards canoe up a waterfall and it loses its wheel, how many pancakes does it take to fill a dog house? the answer is 17 because aliens are allgeric to cows and mustard.

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What do you call a black priest? Someone devoted to the word of god

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who is gay for wild ones- Ryan Mcgggguigan

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Why does history repeat itself? Because no one listened to it the first time.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Falafel. Falafel who? I falafel. You feel awful? Ha, ha, ha! Oh, what a kneeslapper! Oh, God! Thanks for the laugh, I was feeling a little down and I... No, I just meant I ate a falafel. Oh. Yeah.

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A black man and a Mexican man are both in a car. Who's driving? The white man who is also in the car with them.

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Why did the kid die last night? because his mum stabbed him multiple times in the chest.

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A man walked into a metal bar, they were playing Metallica.

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Gun Control

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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What do you call a boy with no arms? Names.

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Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

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Q: What would George Washington do if he were alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Rebecca Black and Justin Bieber get married.... Friends and family attend the wedding

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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