Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

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Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

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Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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Chuck Norris is so tough, he trained diligently for many years and is now a widely respected martial artist

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I want to tie a baby to the back of a truck then reverse into a wall.

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How many TV shows are there? A lot.

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I grunt when I poop.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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Wanna hear a joke? Twilight

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Knock knock. Whose there? Jehovahs witnesses.

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how many cookies did the fat kid eat? a perfectly reasonable amount of cookies.

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What happened when the man went to the bar? He got drunk, drove home injuring a young teen mother, brutally assaulted his wife to the point of death. He's in prison serving 3 life sentences.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it doesn't matter because he got hit by a bus before he could even make it.

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What do you get when you cross chocolate pudding with your mother's slippers? A spanking.

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rarw

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Once upon a time, The end.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the Nazi say to the farmer? Sie sind Juden versteckt

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tennis grunts . . . no different from sex noises

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The man says to the doctor "Sir, I have contracted a terrible headache." The doctor replies back, "Yes you do."

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Why did the man walk into the bar? To purchase alcoholic beverages ready for consumption.

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What's the difference between contemporary Christian music?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops